A fortune telling machine that prints out evil fortunes intended to fill the user with dread and foreboding by inducing delusions that the fortunes are coming true. It seems to activate whenever someone nearby asks a question, but no matter what the question the answer will always be one of your impending demise.

For example, Sallah made Claudia think she was going to die when her fortune read, "Death comes for you this night", and no matter what she asked Sallah, her fortunes were only things like "R.I.P., Claudia Donovan" and "Your doom is imminent." When Leena asked Sallah what she'd be having for dinner, her fortune was "That blemish is probably cancer." Fortunately, Leena told Claudia the truth: Sallah is more of a hypnotist, and can't see the future nor does make it happen. The only way to make sure the fortune doesn't come true is to actively ignore Sallah. Part of the reason why Sallah is in the Warehouse is that he seems to have inside information on the user.


  • Sallah bears a marked and presumably deliberate resemblance to the 'Zoltar Speaks' machine which is the MacGuffin of the 1988 film Big.
  • Sallah may be named after the character el-Kahir from the Indiana Jones franchise.
    • Coincidentally, "salah" is an Indonesian word that means "false".


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